\u2018Twas the day after Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. This suited Santa Clause just fine. It had been a busy festive period, after all, culminating in his customary, physics-defying journey around the world to deliver gifts to all the good boys and girls (he delegated the naughty list these days for efficiency).\n\n\n[caption id="attachment_2719" align="aligncenter" width="426"] The fact he uses such an old-fashioned mode of transport makes it even more impressive.[\/caption]\nNow, though, his work completed, Santa was enjoying a well-earned sit down in his office. He was just pouring himself a celebratory brandy, in fact, when someone knocked on the door.\n\u201cCome in!\u201d called Santa to the knocker.\nThe door opened a crack. Geoff, Santa\u2019s top admin elf, sidled in nervously.\n\u201cCan I help you, young man?\u201d asked Santa, chuckling to himself (he knew well that Geoff was 974 years old, which is fairly venerable even for an elf). \u201cIt was a good idea of yours to automate the Christmas list system this year,\u201d he added, encouragingly.\n\n\n[caption id="attachment_2718" align="aligncenter" width="348"] Are those even real glasses, Geoff?[\/caption]\n\u201cUmm, that's actually what\u00a0I need to talk about,\u201d said Geoff, avoiding eye contact with his boss. \u201cWe\u2019ve had a few complaints.\u201d\n\u201cComplaints?\u201d bellowed Santa, leaping to his feet and towering over the elf. \u201cFrom whom?\u201d\nGeoff cowered, but managed a response: \u201cParents!\u201d he squeaked, \u201cIt seems that there might have been some typos in the Christmas list!\u201d\n\u201cTypos? Like what?\u201d Santa grumbled, reaching for his tablet computer and opening the Good Boys and Girls app that Geoff had developed to handle the Christmas list this year.\nThe head elf watched Santa struggle with the device for a few minutes, then gently took it off him and navigated to the \u201cUser Feedback\u201d section.\n\u201cHere,\u201d he said, \u201cThis one is from a mother who says you crept into her little girl\u2019s room and performed neural surgery on her in the middle of the night.\u201d\n\n\n[caption id="attachment_2717" align="aligncenter" width="364"] Not something you'd want to wake up to.[\/caption]\nSanta sniffed defensively. \u201cYes, well? The list clearly said that she wanted a \u2018boy brain\u2019.\u201d\n\u201cIt did,\u201d agreed Geoff, \u201cBut it should have said \u2018toy train\u2019.\u201d\nSanta\u2019s face, usually so ruddy, suddenly turned pale. \u201cOh. Well. I can see why she might be upset. I thought that sounded like a strange request.\u201d He paused. \u201cWas there anything else?\u201d\n\u201cQuite a few, actually,\u201d replied Geoff. \u201cThere was a boy in Arkansas who wanted a puppy.\u201d\n\u201cWhat did we deliver?\u201d asked Santa with palpable trepidation.\n\u201cA yuppy, apparently. \u201cThe kid\u2019s dad says the boy freaked out when he found a businessman sat at the end of his bed, sipping coffee and working on a laptop.\u201d\n\n\n[caption id="attachment_2715" align="aligncenter" width="375"] He's cute, sure, but is he puppy cute?[\/caption]\n\u201cI can imagine,\u201d said Santa, slumping back into his seat. Santa\u2019s brow furrowed as he squinted at the tablet screen. \u201cIs that even how you spell \u2018yuppie\u2019?\u201d\n\u201cIt\u2019s a variant spelling,\u201d explained Geoff, shrugging. \u201cThat\u2019s what you get when you hire temps to do the data entry work, I guess.\u201d\n\u201cSo, then, what do we do now?\u201d Santa asked, looking to the elf for help.\n\u201cFirst of all, we need to get back out there and, ahem, make some corrections,\u201d the elf suggested. \u201cAnd then, before we get started on next year, we should probably hire a proofreader.\u201d\n\u201cGood idea,\u201d muttered Santa, before taking a deep gulp of brandy.\n\nMERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!